Only TWO days ago, cinematictitanic.com mysteriously appeared. Claimed to be authored by Joel Hodgson, it goes on to say that he is returning to the making-fun-of-movies thing, along with Trace, Frank, Mary Jo, and JOSH WEINSTEIN. So I think some healthy skepticism wouldn’t be UNfounded.

Nevertheless, Slashdot, Ain’t It Cool News, and doubtless thousands of other blogs are blowing up about it, and nobody’s asking any questions. Just fawning, ejaculatory cheerings-on.

The first thing you notice is how POORLY the page is designed. You even see a <meta name="author" content="John Stotler" /> in the source, that the domain is hosted at GoDaddy, and is registered through a privacy proxy. Okay, fine, so these people have hired an amateur designer. It’s possible.

But the announcement just resembles too closely every MST3K fan’s wet dream. They’re an easy target for a prank like this. They’ve been chanting Joel’s name continually for over ten years now, begging for him to come back. Pulling one over on people demonstrating such obnoxious behavior would be funny. What if it even made it on Slashdot? Or Wikipedia???

Besides the fact that it would be weird for all five of these people to be simultaneously inspired to beat that dead horse, Joel left the show because he wanted to distance himself from it. In a press release from 1993 he said,

It’s time for me to hang up my red jump suit and move behind the camera. Besides, there’s an old show business adage I once heard Adam West say: “Stay in the same costume and before you know it, you end up signing pictures at an R.V. show.” Maybe it was Clayton Moore, now that I think of it.

I want to become a behind-the-camera guy. I want to get on to the NEXT weird show. I want to be an idea man.

The new site itself is ugly, yes, but more than that, it’s very un-Joel-like through and through. Joel’s a smart, creative, funny guy. Would he really put his name behind such a stale, meaningless name as “Cinematic Titanic”? With this logo?:

Cinematic Titanic

Would he really say, “Our first release is at this time a total secret, however – I’m willing to say it makes ‘Manos the Hands of Fate’ look like ‘Santa Claus Conquers the Martians’ in a car wreck with ‘Eegah!’”? These are the words of a fan, naming his favorite episodes, not the words of a guy who wanted to move on with his life, fourteen years ago.

The site also reads, “I’ve just been interviewed by Lucasfilm online, in anticipation of Cinematic Titanic’s first live show and world premiere in San Francisco in December.” Lucasfilm online? Why haven’t they been talking about this? Wouldn’t an exclusive, rare interview with Joel Hodgson about his new project be something you might want to mention? Where in San Francisco is this premier? Why haven’t I gotten a confirmation email for signing up for the mailing list?

You’re PISSED!

yourmom · 1 Nov 2007

RRAAAHHHRRRR!!!!!

Jay · 2 Nov 2007

hmmmmmmmmm

jessi · 2 Nov 2007

Download our first episode now on BitTorrent:

http://www.isohunt.com/torrents.php?ihq=oozing+skull

Joel Hodgson · 16 Jan 2008

The spammer claiming to be Joel above is the only hoax to be uncovered here, and well worthy of having their comment and access to the internet removed.

GersonK · 18 Feb 2008

This is totally fake. There is NO WAY these guys would get together to riff again. Anyone who thinks they would is an idiot. WHY HAVEN’T YOU GOTTEN THAT CONFORMATION EMAIL!!?!?!?! Just a big, stupid, fake…wait a minute…Oh hey, a conformation e-mail. Never mind. Carry on.

Byron · 3 Nov 2008

Yeah, if they’re getting back together to riff on movies, of course the first priorities will be web site coding and logo design. Those things should be the very first considerations, and writing, ahh, whenever they get to it. Come to think of it, website coding and logo design should be the only things they think about. Forget putting time into an actual product.

kbps h@ter · 3 Nov 2008

sucks to be wrong, no?

Robert Evans · 20 Nov 2008

Color me besmirched.

Jay · 20 Nov 2008

Oh, that’s funny. XD

TGWD · 14 Dec 2008

It’s funny when somebody is so completely wrong.

Richard Wicks · 28 Dec 2009

Don’t think I don’t see the humor in it.

Jay · 28 Dec 2009

ha.

Chuq · 1 Sep 2010

At first I was getting mad saying HOW EMBARRASSED ARE YOU? LOLOLOLOLOLOL and why haven’t you taken this off the web?” Then I realized after reading the comments “Oh because you have a sense of humor…MY bad” :) At least you can poke fun at yourself, I love that.

Val · 4 May 2012

No, it’s true! Rifftrax is also a huge hoax. Breaking Dawn Part 2, my ass! I’ve downloaded it and all I get is three guys (who sound like drunk frat boys) making random “jokes” about the movie. No film. Just a bunch of stupid comments. I swear, if this passes for comedy then I’ll go watch paint dry. At least that’s funnier!

Brian of Nazareth · 18 Mar 2013

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